Aurelio De Laurentiis – The Ramblings of a Mad Man


Seven years ago, Aurelio De Laurentiis expanded from the world of cinema to the world of football when he became the owner of Napoli.

In his time as owner of Azzuri, he has become a known figure for his rants and ramblings, leaving many wondering if the film director is just a little bit mad. Here is a collection of some of his famous quotes.

“I WON’T BEAT YOU UP BECAUSE YOU ARE AN OLD MAN”

Now Aurelio is known for tantrums as already mentioned, and after a 2-2 draw with Lazio, he confronted manager Edy Raja in a heated argument in the dressing room.

He resisted the temptation to use violence because of Edy’s age, by simply saying “I won’t beat you up because you’re an old man, but I am going to sack you.”

In De Laurentiis defence, atleast we know he is capable of coming to a sensible compromise!

“MESSI IS A CRETIN”

Messi has been called many things in his career. Genius, World Class, Mesmerising, and even a Cretin!

This was in response to Messi playing in the Copa America, which Aurelio believes only youth players should play in and he too good to be playing in that competition: “”Messi is a cretin who accepted to go there. If I was Messi I would have said ‘I won’t come to show myself up in front of four idiots who have no clue on how to play me’.”

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS?

Sometimes he doesn’t even have to speak when doing something controversial, and he proved that his actions can stir controversy (and cause mockery) this summer.

He left, shouting”I will quit football. You lot are all s**t,” he said as he left the Lega Calcio offices.

“I will go back to making films. It’s a disgrace everything is fixed and I am ashamed to be an Italian.”

After expressing his anger after the draw for the fixtures for the 2011/12 Serie A season, he was seen leaving whilst ranting, before departing the car park on the back of a scooter. Stylish!

“EUROPA LEAGUE ? I DON’T GIVE A S*IT ABOUT THAT COMPETITION!”

After beating Swedish side Elfsborg, Napoli were looking good for progressing through to the Group stages of the Europa League, De Laurentiis however wasn’t particularly interested or as excited as everyone else.

“Europa League? I don’t give a s*it about this competition, thanks to Blatter and Platini it is not worth anything.”

Given Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini are also involved in The Champions League, then does that mean he also thinks very little of Europe’s most prestigious prize ?

“THE ENGLISH LIVE BADLY, EAT BADLY AND THEIR WOMEN DO NOT WASH THEIR GENITALIA.”

How do you try to convince your best and brightest stars not to move to England ? Simple, you give an insulting description of the nations people, the women in particular.

Although their have been improvements, the English diet is still a bit of a joke to some, and Fabio Capello showed his disapproval of it, speaking of his shock at the amount of chips and ketchup the top England stars consume. The WAG’s are believed to spend too much time and put too much effort into preparing themselves to leave the house everyday.
“If they want to go to England then in the end they’re going to go, but they need to understand this: the English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery.”

“YOUR QUESTION IS ONE THAT JUST KEEPS BREAKING MY BALLS.”

When asked by a journalist if his three main stars, Marek Hamsik, Ezequiel Lavezzi and Edinson Cavani would be sold, he responded in his typical, unique style.

“If my stars go then it will be a result of the continuous pushing from a medium from La Gazzetta dello Sport. Your question is one that just keeps breaking my balls.”

“IF YOU ARE AN ATHLETE THEN YOU DON’T USE PROSTITUTES.”

Our outspoken friend made his feelings known about Lavezzi’s desire to leave Napoli in 2009, and perhaps revealed a little too much about the want away player.

“If you are an athlete then you don’t use prostitutes and go drinking out late at night. I cannot do anything if someone always goes drinking at four in the morning and then uses hookers after.”

“IF MAZZONI STARTS BEING STUPID THEN I WILL CHOP HIS BALLS OFF.”

Rounding up the quotes with another one revolving around the Lavezzi transfer saga, and this time he issued an extraordinary threat towards the Argentine’s agent.
He said: “If (Alejandro) Mazzoni Lavezzi’s agent starts being stupid then I will chop his balls off.”

Easy on there Aurelio, although given his controversial nature this will probably be a subplot in a future film…

So Aurelio De Laurentiis is kind of like that crazy uncle you always wanted, or wish you never had, with outbursts being made in a drunken state. The only difference of course being that Aurelio’s outbursts occur when he’s even sober!

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